The Blue Film

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The era of DVD players gripped millions in a chokehold, while creating core memories that would last a lifetime.

From unassuming businesspeople who made fortunes selling CDs to the unruly lad sitting through an entire 20-in-1 pirated disc, everyone has a story neatly tucked away in their minds.

In my own mind, many years ago, as an adventurous boy, I was excited to discover for the first time what my “kubolor” friends called “blue film”.

The CD Yahaya had given me, only bore on its cover a picture of a lady in tight clothing surrounded by few men, who probably wanted to help her with something.  He refused to tell me what it was about, except “make sure you watch this when no one is around, or when they have gone to sleep. It is a bit scary”.

The following day— a Saturday — after Father had left for work and Mum was caught up in a web of church activities, I decided it was time! So, I tiptoed into the living room, where our overused, big-headed television sat miserably on a table covered with a decorative white cloth.

I prepared the TV/DVD set up, inserted the CD, and collapsed into one of the chairs.

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The next set of minutes after the disc played were somewhat disturbing. The scenes made no sense to the child I was, even though my body reacted in ways my young mind could not yet explain.

“What are they trying to do?????”.  “Oh okay.”

“But why??????”

I could not take it any longer and moved towards the DVD player to put an end to the “torture”. Before I got there, the LIGHTS WENT OFF!! The CD was stuck in the player!

“Father will kill me!!! I am going to die!”

At the time, almost seasonally, the country was bedeviled by series of sporadic power outages, which the authorities always swore would never happen again, yet which persist to this day.

Victims of this phenomenon, notoriously nicknamed “dumsor”, were usually businessowners and unfortunate employees that were chopped off, when profit margins were even slightly touched.

That day, somewhere in a semi-ghetto in Kasoa, I was the VICTIM.!

It was 3 p.m., and I prayed the lights would return before 8 p.m., when Father would be home, and eager to watch his favorite show.  I lurked worriedly around the living room, so I could salvage the situation, immediately the lights returned.

6pm, mom had returned, the lights were not back.

At 7:30pm, dad had returned, the lights still were not back!

To add insult to injury, the family had gathered in the living room, sharing gossip and discussing life, as there was nothing more interesting to do in the dark. Father was narrating a story about how one of his friends had been duped trying to secure a visa to Aburokyire…

                           …then the lights came!

The workings of the DVD/TV setup at the time were such that, when the power returned, both the TV and DVD would turn on immediately and resume whatever had been playing before the lights went out.

“Father will kill me!!! I am going to die!!!!!!!!!” My heart beat so fast, I felt it might tear through my chest. I wondered which of my parents would land the first slap on me, and who was going to lead the crucifixion.

The family paused their conversations and turned to the TV. They didn’t know who was watching, but they were far more curious about what the person was watching.

“You guys will damage this DVD ooh! Instead of you to focus on your books, you will be disturbing my machine!” my father barked as the TV and DVD readied themselves to play. Tears were already rolling down my cheeks, because I knew it was over.

“Loading… Loading…”  the TV screen teased.

The DVD’s generic blue screen appeared, and the “Loading” changed to “Play/Continue” …

I buried my face in my palms and whispered my last prayer.  Then I heard “OOOHHHHHHHHHH!”

Split seconds to the movie continuing, the lights again, WENT OFF!